Thursday, January 27, 2011
Mommy, Who is That Lady Standing Over There?
When a child sees an apparition she may ask something like, "Mommy, who is that lady standing over there?" or “What is that man doing in our house?"
Of course when adults try to see who the child is talking about they see no one, yet the child insists someone is there. They may also report seeing ghosts in their dreams, hearing things go bump in the night, having monsters under their bed, ghosts in the closet, or someone peeking in their window. This can be scary for adults as well as children. As a counselor, I know the worries parents have over helping their children feel safe in their own environment.
Don’t ignore your child's fears. It is important to her emotional development for you as a parent to eliminate such things as ghosts, monsters, and weird noises. Criticizing her about monsters or saying "there is no such things as ghosts” does not help her overcome fear. She will simply stop telling you about her experience, which may cause her even more stress.
One thing that will help reduce your child's fear is to show how calm you are about such things. Children take their cues from adults—especially their parents—and if we are upset about ghosts and strange noises, then our children will learn to fear those things too. Try to offer a logical explanation that the child can understand.
Regardless of whether or not you believe in ghosts, you can take charge of the situation. Smudge your house with sage to banish entities, do battle with the monster under the bed, or have a good, firm talk with the invisible man who keeps tapping at your child’s bedroom window. It might also help to turn on a night light in the child’s room, let her take a flashlight to bed, or play some soft music at night so she can’t hear ghostly activity.
Since science cannot prove nor disprove the existence of spirit beings, parents can’t honestly tell a child that ghosts or other spirit beings don't exist. Perhaps we should listen to our children and simply accept what they say they see.
© 2010 by Dr. Caron Goode, the award winning author of Raising Intuitive Children and the international best-seller, Kids Who See Ghosts, guide them through their fear. Dr. Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents (acpi.biz) that trains and certifies professional parenting coaches. Reach Dr. Goode for speaking or training at caron30 @ gmail.com.
For more information, you might enjoy reading More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife.
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