Is your home emotionally toxic? That is…do you order your kids around, hit them, scream at them, forget to touch them with love, forget to be kind, ignore them when they cry or need you? Among the emotional factors that contribute to negative, even toxic, emotional atmospheres in homes are
- Surprise or intense outbursts from anger or control issues.
- Verbal putdowns or psychological bullying,
- Physical abuse, including spanking, inappropriate sexual touching, and harassment.
- Substance abuse and its vampire-like energy drain
- Resentment, lack of respect and inappropriate behavior derived from bullying tactics like pushing, hitting, punching and knuckling the head.
Any child will buckle under when subjected to such behaviors, and for empathic or emotional intuitives who feel more profoundly than the average child, such behaviors can cripple or devastate. The potential for emotional harm inflicted on sensitive children has far larger ramifications than for other temperament styles.
Take extra care with empathic children for health, immune system strength, and the ability to develop resilience. They must build to be able to stand up for themselves or know when to withdraw. All children need a champion, and empathic children need an especially caring one.
Kellie had two younger brothers, and all three children were close growing up in a single parent household. All three children remember a household of humor, movies and popcorn, long walks and stories at bedtime during their preschool years. Kellie’s mother, Leslie, remarried when Kellie was nine years old, and her brothers were eight and seven. The tenor of their household changed from happy to distressful. Their stepfather argued with Leslie, worked at night and slept during the days, and children felt like they walked on eggshells.
One morning before school, Kellie’s brothers wrestled and broke an item in their living room. No one confessed to the crime, so Leslie put all three children in the bathroom, closed the door, and told them if one of them didn’t confess, she would have their father spank all three of them.
Well, no one confessed, but empathic Kellie was a nervous wreck after waiting in the bathroom for two hours for her stepfather to come home. Her bladder was full, and when her stepfather walked through the bathroom door with a belt in his hand, she broke down and sobbed. He made each child pull down their pants, lean over his lap, and he spanked them with the belt. Kellie urinated all over him, sobbed, and was in shock.
She turned white and fell to the floor at being assaulted. When she curled into a fetal position, her brothers ran to Leslie to report that something was wrong. Kellie was put to bed where she ran a fever for three days and vomited as if she had the flu. As an adult, Kellie described her impression as seeing the evil in her stepfather and feeling vulnerable when spanked, “I felt like I swallowed his violence, absorbed it like a sponge, so intensely that I fell ill. I had to purge my body through vomiting.” I had nightmares well into my teen years of being assaulted again. From that day forward, I hated that man and my mother for the way she dealt with a child’s simple mistake.”
Please remember, handle empathic children with care, respect and kindness.
For further information, check out Raising Intuitive Children.
Many parents, grandparents, and teachers are guardians of intuitive children. Since many of these adults did not have a spiritually-advanced role model when they were children, they are perplexed when trying to deal with the children of today, who openly exhibit spiritual gifts. The Sid Series is now part of the curriculum for “Fostering Empathic Values for Soulful Living.” There are 12 modules in this class—each one is less than ten minutes. Learn more or sign up at http://live-spirit.com/parenting-classes
© 2011 Dr. Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International, a global online school for training successful, wealthy parenting coaches in home-based businesses. She is the author of fifteen books, including the international best seller, Kids Who See Ghosts, the national award-winner Raising Intuitive Children. See and review all of Dr. Goode’s books here.