Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Helping Empathic Children Adjust in Families

by Caron Goode

Experts agree that happy children share characteristics like optimism and a sense of control. How can parents create a supportive family atmosphere to create successful intuitive children? This chapter starts with how to provide support for the emotional empath and help them develop calm and resilience.
  • Our support goal for an emotional empath is to strengthen emotional energy, especially of the heart.
  • Our second support goal is to empower resilience so they can interact with the environment, not withdraw from it.
  • A third support goal is to monitor and maintain an emotionally healthy atmosphere in your home.
An empath’s vulnerability can also be their challenge in an emotionally toxic home where they have to learn to cut off their feelings so they can survive.

The primary home environment provides the first stable space in which an empathic child learns to value personal feelings and how to interpret the emotional atmosphere of the home. Margaret’ story shows how a psychic, sensitive, or empathic child can interpret a parent’s emotions, and her decision as a child affected her relationship with her father significantly.

Margaret’s was empathic, and she came from a large Italian family of seven children. All were talkative and emotionally expressive. Her family had a celebration for Margaret’s First Communion day and invited relatives and members of the church community. It was normal to see the men in her family drinking beer and sometimes wine at these family celebrations.

In the late afternoon, Margaret’s observed her father’s emotional energy for the first time: “I kept staring at Dad because I had never seen like storm clouds around him before. Usually Dad was all sunshine and smiles. I was seeing my father’s aura. His alcoholic haze looked like dark clouds, and his mood was angry. Even though I was used to his booming Italian voice, when his emotional tone changed to anger, his voice matched the dark clouds seen by my young eyes. I was confused and that day was the start of my withdrawal from his energy. Being in touch with his dark stormy emotions made me feel sick to my stomach. My father’s alcoholism grew through the years, and our relationship withered.”

Rather than Margaret withdrawing from her father to feel safe, another option would be to create communication and understanding between them—a path of resilience for Margaret. Research from The International Resilience Project reviewed what we mentioned in chapter one: “A child's own genetic make-up and temperament are fundamental to whether he or she will be resilient. That is, a child's vulnerability to anxiety, challenges, stress or unfamiliarity determines his or her self-perception, how he or she interacts with others, and how he or she addresses adversities.”

An emotional empath like Margaret needs an adult in the family to model acceptance of other’s differences. A mentor, whether a parent, sibling, neighbor or schoolteacher can help sensitive children negotiate adversity by talking about it. For example an adult could help Margaret clarify that her dad only looked foggy when drinking alcohol. How did his energy appear at other times? Perhaps Margaret could have brought to his attention the fact that his children did not respond well to the anger and alcohol mix. Conversations have to happen!!

For further information, check out Raising Intuitive Children and also the book, by Goldberg, E. H. A Guide to Promoting Resilience in children: Strengthening the Human Spirit. The International Resilience Project, part of the Early Childhood Development: Practice & Reflection series. Bernard Van Leer Foundation.

Many parents, grandparents, and teachers are guardians of intuitive children. Since many of these adults did not have a spiritually-advanced role model when they were children, they are perplexed when trying to deal with the children of today, who openly exhibit spiritual gifts. The Sid Series is now part of the curriculum for “Fostering Empathic Values for Soulful Living.” There are 12 modules in this class—each one is less than ten minutes. Learn more or sign up at http://live-spirit.com/parenting-classes

© 2011 Dr. Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International, a global online school for training successful, wealthy parenting coaches in home-based businesses. She is the author of fifteen books, including the international best seller, Kids Who See Ghosts, the national award-winner Raising Intuitive Children. See and review all of Dr. Goode’s books here.

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Monday, December 19, 2011

Self-Esteem: What is the Effect of Sexual Abuse on Your Inner Child?

When children lack safety, love, and receive constant criticism and abuse by parents they develop low self-esteem. These children as adults have the trauma of the abuse plus low esteem to heal before they can take back their power and love themselves. Purchase The Sid Series on http://tinyurl.com/AmazonSidSeries

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Over and Above!

My granddaughter, Keilie, is in the fourth grade.  She had an assignment to write a paper using all of her spelling words beginning with over. Her paper was chosen as the *winner* of the class. I typed it up to share with you today. 

My Bad Day
By Keilie Perry

When I came home I had an overdue library book and an overworked project. I tried to bake cookies and I overcooked them too. I traveled to the grocery store and bought some strawberries but when I got home they were overripe! A couple minutes later I got thirsty and I poured some water and it overflowed! I went to water the flowers and I accidentally watered weeds and they have overgrown to the sky. So I fell to sleep and when I woke up I got my overcoat on to go out. I ran out of gas so I walked inside to pay for gas and got a piece of candy. I ate it and got overactive. I zoomed all the way out to the car! I really wanted a dog so I twirled all the way to the pet shop. I saw an overweight cat right next to the dog I wanted. I named my dog Lucky. When I came home my house was over populated with friends and family because it was family reunion day!
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Thursday, December 1, 2011

How To Connect With An Empathic Child After Distress

by Dr Caron Goode

At age ten, empathic Tess experienced a sudden and abrupt disconnect from her mom, which would affect her for the rest of her life. One day her mom was hugging her after school and teaching her how to cut vegetables. The next day, her Mom did not see her, but looked past her with a distant gaze, spaced-out eyes. Mom told Tess that the voices in her head told her to pull the plugs out of the walls.

Such a rapid disconnection from her mom was worse than losing her mom to death in Tess’ eyes. Rather than being able to say goodbye, Tess had to renegotiate the emotional environment with her mom still alive, yet not present.

Tess was empathic. She felt as her mom felt, and had no way to talk about it or understand it. The result was that Tess withdrew, cried and felt isolated and hurt.

Tess felt threatened by her mom’s withdrawal. She also loved her Mom, so Tess split her attention in half. One half stayed hidden inside a sensitive heart, protecting and armoring. One half re-learned how to live in a home with her mother’s mental illness, diagnosed as Schizoid Affective disorder. Tess was on constant psychic alert.

An intuitive cannot sustain the long-term division of attention in a situation such as Tess experienced without negative emotional consequences. Have you ever walked forward in life while trying to watch your back every two minutes? It would distort your attention and create tension in the same way emotional intensity or trauma strike empathic children. Empathic children will
  • Internalize the toxic feeling that they are the burden
  • Feel inadequate or unloved and turn the messages into negative self-talk.
  • Feel inconsequential, like they have no power or resources in their environment.

These adversarial moments are also brilliant opportunities for developing flexibility and strength rather than being resigned. Help your children develop habits of coping so they become self-confident and trust their intuitive intelligence.

Tess’ therapist had her close her eyes, relax, and go back to age ten when she disconnected from the Mom she knew. Tess felt a giant creature standing beside her left shoulder much like a Wookiee of the Star Wars epics. This imaginary friend became Tess’ protector. She could hide behind him to feel safe, and could control her world in this way. This was a resilience creation, which let Tess control her inner world when she couldn’t control the outer environment.

For further information, check out Raising Intuitive Children.

© 2011 Dr. Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International, a global online school for training successful, wealthy parenting coaches in home-based businesses. She is the author of fifteen books, including the international best seller, Kids Who See Ghosts, the national award-winner Raising Intuitive Children. See and review all of Dr. Goode’s books here.


Many parents, grandparents, and teachers are guardians of intuitive children. Since many of these adults did not have a spiritually-advanced role model when they were children, they are perplexed when trying to deal with the children of today, who openly exhibit spiritual gifts. The Sid Series is now part of the curriculum for “Fostering Empathic Values for Soulful Living.” There are 12 modules in this class—each one is less than ten minutes. Learn more or sign up at http://live-spirit.com/empathytelesummit


Bookmark and Share

Purchase The Sid Series on http://tinyurl.com/AmazonSidSeries